Dear Liberals: Eat Your Veggies & Listen To Your Conservative Uncle!

Dear Liberals,

Remember when you were a kid and didn't want to eat your vegetables? Your parents said to eat them because they're good for you. So you'd plug your nose, close your eyes and start chewing. 

Well today, as a Liberal myself, I'm really upset that other Liberals aren't eating their vegetables. They're not talking to anyone who supports Trump. 

Now, I get the impulse to cut off Trump supporters from your life. What Trump says and does makes my blood boil. It's infuriating. By cutting off people who support Trump, you think you're teaching them a lesson. You think “Yes, of course I need to cut them off. They need to know that I won't accept that.”

You have good intentions. You think your conservative uncle will think “if my nephew is upset with me, I should think about not supporting Trump”. What your conservative uncle is actually thinking is “Nobody tells me what to do, not even my nephew. Trump is right: the left doesn't respect me”. You and I might not think that's healthy, but that's how it will land with your uncle. Shaming him won't pull him in, but will only push him further away. 

Talking to our conservative uncle doesn't mean you criticize or lecture him. It doesn't mean to convince him that Trump is horrible. And it doesn't mean to pretend to agree or kiss up to him. It means to be the bigger person. It means to understand your uncle's reasoning even if you don't agree. It means to understand what drives his support. Like you would for a book report in high school. 

Why did Captain Ihab chase the whale in Moby Dick? Why did Don Quixote attack windmills? You can think they're bad choices while still trying to understand the reason for those choices. 

Your uncle wants to be heard. All Trump supporters want to be heard. And right now, Trump is the only one listening. Or at least pretending to listen to get their support. 

Trump’s power comes from telling his supporters that all Liberals are radical. When Liberals cut off family and friends, then it validates Trump's story. Your conservative uncle will only be surrounded by other Trump supporters. They'll think that all Liberals are evil because you won't be there to show them anything different.

So text, call or email your conservative uncle? Plug your nose and pick up the phone. You can tell him that even if you don't agree, you don't want to cut him out of your life. Tell him you want to understand his perspective even if you probably won't relate to it. Tell him you want to hear him.

It might taste horrible at first. Like you're somehow giving in. It's counter intuitive, but you're doing the opposite. You're taking away a piece of Trump's power. If more Liberals did this, both sides would start talking more rationally. The polarization in America might start to soften. And maybe, just maybe, you might enjoy having a peaceful, respectful conversation with your conservative uncle.